Current Age: 35
I am Saudi Arabia. English is not my first language, but I try to explain clearly. I think it started when I was around 14 years old. I was at friend’s house after school and we sitting on the floor playing video games.
His older sis walked through the room and suddenly farted. She stop for a second, then just kep walking like nothing happened. My friend laughed and shouted at her, and she shouted back from the hallway. I don’t know why, but that moment stay in my head more than it should. I feel embarrassed, even though was not me. But at the same time I feel nervous in my stomach, like something was different. Later the night I was still thinking about it and I didn’t really understand why it affect me like that.After that, when something similar happen, I notice the same feeling again. Not every time, just sometime. I never speak about this with anyone. In Saudi Arabia it’s not something we can really talk about openly. People judge very fast and these topics are considered shameful, so I keep it to myself. As I get older, I slowly realizeing it became connected with attraction. I didn’t decide this, it jus developed over time during my teenage year. Maybe because it was strong memory and I was at age where everything feels more intense. Now I understand myself better. It just something that form in my mind when I was boy. It doesn’t control my life, but it is still a private part of me that don’t share with people around me.
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